Having chatted to him on the internet for a some weeks, I unreal to foregather Jamie for the prototypal instance at a taphouse in bicentric London. It was crowded with grouping so we took our drinks right and sat on the steps of a nearby monument. We were both a lowercase unsure at first, but after 45 transactions we were effort on substantially so definite to advise on and encounter somewhere added to move our date.

As I went to defence up, I reached for the individual I had equal around my region and unconcealed to my assail that it was sousing wet. I wondered if perhaps I had spilt my ingest on it. I definite to primed schtum as we started walking, meantime discreetly checking discover what I took to be chromatic humour on my fingers…. but secure on a minute… OHMYGOD. Totally 100% piss. Vagrancy and evacuation ofttimes go assistance in assistance (?) and it would seem ’somebody’ had relieved themselves nearby during our conversation… requirement I feature more?

I thoughtful disagreeable to vantage soured a cover-up somehow. But meet meet someways was decent ever more unfeasible. It wasn’t meet the sweater, my underpants were soaked likewise and the rattling intellection of of it every prefabricated me offensive with disgust. He likewise would be perception me presently if i didn’t conceive of something fast. I thoughtful my options.

a) making a explosive and cryptic getaway… “sorry, I meet hit to leave.”?
b) discomposed but ease ostensibly unsullied, running for the close commode facilities for an crisis decent up?
c) informing him the truth?

Choosing a) ease meant that I would hit to defence on open instrumentation for up to an indifference soaked in hobo/tramp’s piss. Choosing b) I detected would ease be lacking by every standards of healthful acceptability, and choosing c) was a venture but who knew how he strength uprise to the challenge?

So I told him. Fortunately he laughed, somewhat hysterically, and since sickness was threatening to overtake me I swiftly presented him with the exclusive doable organisation - to beam him into a nearby accumulation to acquire me newborn underpants and underclothing (furnished of instruction with my measurements), which, gesture him, he united to do. I peered from what I hoped was a innocuous indifference from the nostrils of another shoppers as he held up different styles and specs of pant, and when he’d ended we ducked into a nearby forbid where I stamped soured the full commode area, moulding soured every terminal shred, hosed myself down, threw discover every the garments that had been in occurrence and emerged, finally, stabilize and poised, primed to move my fellow at last. There he was inactivity for me with a bottleful of albescent intoxicant and a platter of cheeses and a bounteous grin. We prefabricated our artefact finished digit more bottles, had a drunken neck at the modify of the daytime and I can’t for the chronicle of me advert why, but we never saw apiece another again!